The Pleasure of Almost

Every October, the word anticipation makes me think of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tim Curry somehow turned one little pause in the middle of a word into its own erotic event: antici…pation.

There’s something real in that joke. Pleasure changes when we don’t rush toward the part we already know we like best.

It’s really easy to become efficient with our bodies and predictable with pleasure. We know the touch, fantasy, rhythm, toy, image, or sequence that works. Sure, that can be fun, but it can also make pleasure predictable and even rote. Sometimes the more interesting experience is to linger before the obvious destination and let wanting build.

Experiences such as a hand moving close and then moving elsewhere. A sensation appearing briefly and disappearing. You know something pleasurable is coming, but not exactly when. That uncertainty can sharpen attention and make the body more responsive to smaller details.

This is one of the things I enjoy about sensual massage. There’s no need to hurry toward the most intense sensation. Sometimes the pleasure is in giving your body time to notice, wonder, wait, and want.

So this month, try taking a slightly longer route. Slow down before the thing you usually rush toward. Stay with the build-up a little longer than usual.

You may find that “almost” has more pleasure in it than you thought.

And yes, eventually you can have the rest of the word!